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Thursday, 9 February 2012

Things offered and wanted in Islington East on #3:

Offer: Medical Journals (BMJ) from 2010-2011
Offer: 9 magazines: Carp, Total Carp, Carp Talk etc.
Offer: Photography developing chemicals
Offer: Embroidery scraps
Offer: Large black suitcase
Offer: Straight edge non-carving skis
Offer: Box of i-D magazines
Offer: Plastic plumbing pipe
Offer: Wine rack
Offer: Double matress (spoiled)

Wanted: Boardgames, in particular 'Risk'
Wanted: Smallish piano
Wanted: Massage table
Wanted: Digital thermometer with probe
Wanted: Odd furniture for eccentric museum (children's charity)
Wanted: Toilet plunger
Wanted: Bread maker
Wanted: Pond filter and pump
Wanted: Party lights
Wanted: Bongos or any type of world drums

Things offered and wanted in Blackpool on #2:

Offer: Firewood, from demolished building
Offer: Very big kareoke (sic) Elvis Presley
Offer: A garden swing
Offer: Printers 13 of them
Offer: Hare Krishna/Gouranga stuff
Offer: Large rubber plant
Offer: Motherboard
Offer: Christmas Tree
Offer: Carton of Aptamil baby milk
Offer: Wine bottles

Wanted: Breeze blocks or bricks
Wanted: Homebrew barrel with tap
Wanted: Dukan diet book
Wanted: Metal dustbin/incinerator bin
Wanted: Playpen
Wanted: Pug
Wanted: Garden shed and a wheelbarrow
Wanted: Horse riding items
Wanted: Plastic models, any scale
Wanted: Walkie Talkies

Things offered and wanted in Salford on #1:

Offer: Lawn ten pin bowling set
Offer: Star Trek videos
Offer: Left over broken paving stones
Offer: Cheese plant in pot
Offer: Guinea pigs
Offer: Twistix stick lolly pop moulds
Offer: Pink chenille bath mat
Offer: Three white wardrobe doors
Offer: 1 jar of hardboiled sweets
Offer: Hot water bottles

Wanted: Wool any ply any colour
Wanted: Telescope
Wanted: Rainbows uniform
Wanted: An old out of tune accordion
Wanted: Posters for a girls bedroom age 15
Wanted: Baby safety gate
Wanted: Acrylic or perspex sheets
Wanted: SOS Talisman
Wanted: Some clean lino for a bathroom and small toilet
Wanted: Stair carpet

Saturday, 28 January 2012

TV recommendation #5:

Kings of Pastry
Of Time and the City
Head Over Heels in Rats
Storyville: The Photographer
The Real Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines: A Wonderland Film

TV recommendation #4:

A Question of Taste
Survivors: Despicable Dick
The Many Faces of Les Dawson
The Interrupters - How to Stop a Riot
Storyville: Murder on a Sunday Morning

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

TV recommendation #3:

White Tribe
Bodysnatchers of New York
Crooked Tarts and Coronets
419: The Internet Romance Scam
Sticks & Stones (about attitudes towards disability, not racism documentary of same name)

TV recommendation #2:

The Air Hospital
The Nurture Room
The Merits of Ferrets
The Great Piano Scam
The Revenge of the Bin Men

TV recommendation #1:

We Feed the World
True Stories: Gypsy Blood
The Untold Tommy Cooper
Inside Nature's Giants: Rogue Baboon

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Anecdote #5:

My fella is appalled by the state the staff leave the toilets - shit floating in and smeared around the toilet bowl, piss puddles on the seat etc. at the large media hub in Salford Quays that he currently (temporarily) works. Today the shit got even worse - he went for a quick wee and was faced with a toilet seat smeared with shite. After pissing in another toilet and cleaning his hands thoroughly like the good, hygienic man that he is, he decided to take a stand against the scruffs...

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Anecdote #4:

I was walking down York Street in Heywood when across the road I espied an old man with a doll's head on a stick poking out of the top of his fastened coat. At the dentists, my mouth grew numb, I heard on the radio a disgusted Rochdale lady speak of a local prostitute who frequently got into "automobiles" in broad daylight while kids played nearby on a residential street. It sounded like it was the first time that she had ever said automobile.

Anecdote #3:

My fella's middle-aged manager knew the name of a recent rap song that was playing on the radio, much to everybody's suprise.
"How do you know that?", they asked him.
"I've got my finger on the knob of youth", said the manager.

Anecdote #2:

An old man asked me for a bottle of 'panini' beer. Shortly afterwards a girl told me that she liked to go for a walk to unwind but she put it, "I like to spread my legs".

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Anecdote #1:

I'd like to share with you the story of how I was asked by a drunk middle-aged Glaswegian with a glass eye, wearing double denim, for my hand in marriage, on the packed tram on the way home from work a month or so ago...

I was standing wedged betwixt other commuters when at Deansgate the lone Glaswegian embarked, singing, nay shouting John Lennon's 'Imagine', spitting and waving and mouthing