Anecdote #1:

I'd like to share with you the story of how I was asked by a drunk middle-aged Glaswegian with a glass eye, wearing double denim, for my hand in marriage, on the packed tram on the way home from work a month or so ago...

I was standing wedged betwixt other commuters when at Deansgate the lone Glaswegian embarked, singing, nay shouting John Lennon's 'Imagine', spitting and waving and mouthing